This morning was the Hope’s Garden Eating Disorders Awareness Week Breakfast. It was an early morning, but I had a rough sleep last night so I was up earlier than early, starving, and I spoiled the breakfast by having my own before hand (I promise that I wasn’t “scared” of the breakfast being out of my control–that was the case last year but I’ve made progress, I was just literally hearing my stomach growl in the shower).
My date for the breakfast was Sarah, who I’ve not seen in a while because of my not running/being miserable. She reminded me that we don’t have to run to get together–and I realized how much I’m letting this whole thing get to me.
The speakers at the breakfast were a sociology professor, who talked a lot about the media and how there are so many contradictory messages–eat more but be thin, especially–and raised a lot of good points. We watched informercials, looked at ads, and got lots of information about eating disorders. Even though I’ve heard it before, it was good to hear stuff again. Specifically a reminder that eating disorders can come from a combo of environment and genetic backgrounds. I really think I was predisposed–I’m a bit OCD, I have an addictive personality type, and I am a perfectionist. I had some emotional stuff going on. The speaker also said that they can often arise at times when people want to feel in control. So true for me. Especially now, when I feel like so much is out of my control with my future and grad school and life, I don’t know if I’d be able to stay on the healthy path/not relapse if I didn’t make a conscious effort. So I’m proud of myself.
The other speaker was Maureen Shirreff, the North American Creative Director of the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty. I learned so much. Stuff I thought I should share:
- Surprising self esteem stats (see them all here): only 4% of women would describe themselves as beautiful made me want to cry; I know so many beautiful women; I am trying to decide to describe myself as beautiful (leading by example) — it is not cocky or wrong to love yourself and your body, this is how it should be!
- this Evolution video that I haven’t seen in a while but like:
- this ad that Dove ran–when it’s kids, it makes me even sadder. no one should feel bad about themselves.
Anddd, for some reason I am crying. I feel so sad when I think about how sick I was and I am frustrated with myself today. As far as I’ve come, I’m still fighting with myself–I feel like I’ve eaten 1209102910 extra B L Ts (bites, licks, tastes…thanks Tara), should go work out before I teach (either swim or do something else), and just have a racing mind with the wrong things.
I’m going to try to organize my thoughts about this whole to swim or not to swim/workout guilt (even when I am feeling so strong) and put it all in a post, but I’m not there yet.
Awareness week is working. I’m thinking…
How do you feel about the Dove campaign?