Today was just a typical Thursday. …NOT!
It did start out pretty ordinarily with a big bowl of cereal and berries with pecans and soy milk for breakfast. Wanna bess how I slept last night? Not so good. I took the early wake up call as an opportunity to write my last essay for my Western J school app. Let the productivity begin.
By 8:30 I was antsy so I decided to head to the gym. I did a quick run on the treadmill before the TRX class. I will admit I was hoping for an “easier” class because I knew rock climbing would be challenging and because I’ve been sleeping so poorly lately. Tabata-bout my luck. Okay, that’s a bad pun. But we did 10 exercises in a tabata style workout that kicked my butt. If you’re unfamiliar, you do 8 rounds of 20 seconds of work with 10 seconds of rest for an exercise (squats, pushups, pull-ups, etc, work particularly well but the method can be adapted to pretty much any exercise). Besides crossfit and some of the bootcamps I ran two summers ago, I haven’t had much tabata experience. So it was tough…as it should have been!
I hurried home and was ready for some fuel in the form of another green smoothie (back to the classic recipe I started with).
Tanya came soon after and we headed to Guelph for our lessons at the Guelph Grotto. Not only
did I fall in love with was I naturally impressed by our teacher, who was a writer, climbing instructor, and owned a road bike (and just so happened to be a beautiful red headed man…sigh*), I had so much fun! Okay, yet another thing to add to my list of activities, cuz I don’t have enough expensive interests already. I thought it was physically challenging and even took a little bit of mental work but how cool is it to haul yourself nearly 40 feet in the air? Pretty darn cool, I’ll tell you. I’d love to go back and I want to try bouldering, which is even cooler to me, or to give climbing another go (there were some walls we tried that I couldn’t quite finish). How about a birthday party there, anyone? Andddddd I’m adding a rock climbing expedition onto my bucket list. Who’s in?
We packed sandwiches and fruit for the car ride down and stopped for coffee, but I was hungry by the time I got home. I ate a double serving of leftover curry and couscous with pork from last night’s new creation. Nibbling on chocolate chips, I forced myself to sit down and finish my essay from this morning. I edited it, printed it off, and addressed my third and final Canadian application. I feel uber accomplished. I have a daunting and detailed financial aid application plus a writing test to do for Columbia but I’m pretty much done with the application process besides the trip to the post office I’ll need to make tomorrow. My future is out of my hands, but that’s alright and in fact kind of exciting.
Tanya and I talked about how easy it is to feel secure because you think you have your life figured out/planned but how that can all change. I think I’ve done well with all of the change recently, despite a few slips and some ED thoughts. I really am getting excited even though I don’t know where I’ll be come fall. I do know that I can make the most of this coming semester, which will almost certainly be my last at Western! I also know that regardless of what happens with these applications, I will find something to do with myself come fall and I realize that happiness depends on me. I can find the positives in each of the schools or in any options if school doesn’t work out. Whether I go to school for journalism or not, I’m not locked into anything I do. I can still go to teacher’s college if I so please. I can work in health and fitness. I can do whatever the heck I want, and I can be happy if I choose to focus on the good parts that I am doing instead of thinking about what I might have done differently! There’s a dose of healthy insight for you. Slowing down this break has helped (and yes, this is slowing down for me) even though in the past downtime has been scary to me. It’s not so bad after all. I kind of assume that the more I do this, the less tempting it will be to distract myself with bingeing or with anxiety and the more I’ll be able to listen to what my heart’s trying to tell me. There’s some cheese! I also realized today that I can be happier if I fill my life with things and with people who lift me up.
Soooo, after realizing how accomplished I should feel and seeing the little surprise I picked up for Sarah in the states yesterday, I got a hold of her and asked her if she wanted to go for fro yo. Luckily she was down, so her and her boyfriend picked me up and we got our dessert on. It’s been too long. I kept to chocolate with granola, mini chocolate chips, peanuts, hot fudge, and a cherry on top (of course!).
When I got home I felt…weird. I found myself going for more chocolate. What the heck, Cheryl? This is an old habit that I dealt with with my dietitian and therapist in the spring as part of my recovery. I often would feel “bad” for having had dessert or some kind of special food out of my normal eating. When I got home, I’d sort of sabotage myself into overeating. That way, I think Ed would be in charge by “proving” that I will get fat if I go out for dessert or whatever. Turns out, I won’t be unhealthy from fro yo or anything I eat in such a social, fun setting. I’ll be healthier, regardless of weight, when I can accept that that kind of thing is normal, okay, and good for me! Then my weight will balance out where it needs to be. It’s when I let Ed sabotage me and drive me to eat out of emotion or self-hate or whatever that I get out of whack. So I put the chocolate away, made myself a hot drink, and sat down to blog. These days, the score looks something like this…
Blog: 1209102910 vs. Ed: 0
Have you tried a Tabata workout? What’d you think?
Have you ever tried indoor (or outdoor) rock climbing? Bouldering?
What’s your favourite fro yo flavour or topping?