Too much

Today started off on the right foot with plenty of berries to make up for yesterday’s lack of produce…

My mom and I headed over the bridge early (I had a doctor’s appointment but not ’til 11:30). We went to the mall, the sports store, TJMaxx, and Target before hand. I got a huge tub of trail mix (cranberries with raw almonds and cashews) and had a handful while we shopped.

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After my appointment (which of course was running behind schedule), we had lunch. Jimmy John’s sandwiches are not exactly the epitome of health…I ordered a Turkey Tom, which I just googled the nutrition facts for. I swapped the bread for whole grain (luckily their nutrition calculator lets you make substitutions):

Lots of fat (mayo, I guess). I’m not all that concerned, because it was delicious (and the alfalfa sprouts make it healthy).

I was a little angry after the doctor’s appointment, to be honest, because I was told that my eating disorder is something I will “struggle with forever”…literally my doctor’s nurse practitioner said that it will never go away and it’s going to be me having to manage it…forever. Uh, no. I really believe in recovery turns into recovered and that I am almost there. Anyways, I’m past the point where that could really set me off, but it did piss me off.

When we got home from the states (after a trip to Meijer’s to stock up on all kinds of baking supplies and goodies), I needed a break. I headed out for a run, even though my foot’s been a little sore (I don’t think wearing my big huge boots is helping the case).

The run was good, but I had to pee the whole time. When I got home and had some relief, I barely had time for a quick snack (granola bar…surprise surprise!) before I had to rush out the door to get to yoga!

I didn't aim for 35:35, it just happened!

I did hot yoga at Agoya with Tory tonight for the first time. The studio’s hot is definitely sweaty, but a pleasant kind of sweaty! It was Tory’s intermediate class, which was the ashtanga series without the vinyasas. Love, but I did miss the burn in the triceps. Still my hips were grateful. It’s like my body gets a little angry with the running (though I feel good on the run itself) and the yoga helps it up. Things I noticed, beside that things were slippery with the heat, are that my hips are tight (knee rolling in, not being able to reach rings I used to be able to) and my shoulders are a little hunched. Good thing I love getting my zen on…

When I qgot home I was hungry (and thirsty) so I chugged some water and took in a bunch of spinach with a big ol’ salad topped with a sweet potato, salmon, dried cranberries, and maple vinaigrette.ย 20111222-224310.jpg

Afterwards, I realized something wonderful. There is still birthday cake left, and it is still delicious. In fact, I’d argue it got better on the fourth day. Maybe gross, but not really. So I went for it. Not a pretty picture, because I also ate some to decide whether it was worthy of the indulgence. My ultimate decision was based on the fact that though I want “treats to be treats” I knew I’d end up overdoing it with all the goodies around if I didn’t just have a piece (okay, two end pieces combined) to satisfy the want now. So there.

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Mom and I went to Bulk Barn and to the grocery store here to get the stuff we couldn’t get over in the states today. I am so ready to bake up a storm and my mom has everything she needs for our wonderful Christmas turkey dinner! I felt sick after the cake and soy milk, though, and I got sick when we were leaving. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ Ew. I hate to share it. But I had a gatorade and I feel better now, and I was just a little sick…but still. Cmon. Let a girl have some cake. My reasoning: I didn’t really sit down for 2 minutes (except laying down in savasna at the end of yoga), and I ate way too fast and drank a buttload after yoga. Honest mistakes, and not ed-related. There was no forced getting sick and the cake stayed with me, TRUST ME. Ew, TMI, but I feel the need to clarify that I didn’t get sick like that.

anddddd if you’re still reading, thanks ;). I’m wrapping it up though. Time for some foam rollin’, icing this foot, and SLEEP! I’m deprived (6 hours makes for a tired Cheryl). Tomorrow morning I’m covering a spin class at Sharky’s before the bakeathon starts! There’s also lunch with my sister, reunions with some friends, and getting organized on the agenda (my life, my presents, and the guest room I’ve taken over at my mom’s place are all a disaster!). Sadly for those spinners, I’ve got to re-use Wednesday’s playlistย because I don’t have any blank CDs. Oh well, I can get away with it since I’m in a whole different city!

Hope everyone’s having an awesome holiday!

What are you baking for the holidays?
What’s your favourite kind of yoga?ย 

PS Somehow I pulled a 90% on that stinkin’ exam yesterday…and I have managed to keep my average right around mid 80s where I like it this semester! Go me. Things work out in the end (and my advice to you is to go on a vacation right in the middle of the semester because it obviously doesn’t hurt you in the end).

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10 responses to “Too much

  1. I would have been peeved at what that nurse said too! I think that for some people, yes, their ED will stay with them forever. But for others, it’s entirely possible to recover. It all depends on your attitude and if you’re actually willing to change! So don’t listen to her. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Nice job on the 90! ๐Ÿ˜€

    I’ve been baking like a madwoman! Snowcaps, caramel oat bars, molasses cookies, Mayan chocolate cookies and gingerbread for our gingerbread house! And I’m not even done yet… the bake fest continues today!

    • Man! You’re inspiration. Today is baking day. I’m off for a run and then getting down to business! Get excited for today’s post…it should look DELICIOUS!

      PS I made molasses cookies once…they were like hockey pucks. Fail.

  2. Are you at a healthy weight now? And if so, how did you gain (did you “make yourself” eat more, no matter what?). Yum, cake every night I say ๐Ÿ™‚

    • I think I have healthy habits, which means my weight is stabilizing. I was never at a medically “unhealthy” weight on a chart, just definitely for my body. I mostly gained from eating regular meals, normalizing my exercise, and having a variety of foods (in normal portions). Dessert here and there fit into that. I also have had a few episodes of bingeing that have taken me to what I think might be heavier than my true “happy weight” but today I’m happy and this is what I weigh, so maybe not… ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. ummmm day 4 cake is definitely just as good as day 1 cake, trust me. I kept my b-day cake for 5 days and enjoyed it every single one. And don’t let the nurse practitioner get to you. I think what she means is that you’ll always have some ED thoughts every once and a while, but one day I’m sure you’ll get to a point where you rarely even think about it.

    • Whooh! I didn’t say anything back to her, I just kind of sat there, but I guess when someone is an “expert” that it might be better to not argue right now, though I’m SO not the kind to sit back and listen to someone telling me things I don’t agree with. Oh well, thanks for helping me sort it all out! ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. cake is good till it gets stale, no matter how long that is! Actually sometimes its good even when the icing gets a little hard and the cakes a liiiiiiitle crunchy….hows that for gross haha. I’d have been po’d at the nurse/doctor too….medical professionals don’t always know exactly what they’re talkin about in my experience lol. And you do sound like you’re really close to ED being a total thing of the past – changing to a healthy eating lifestyle and being a little picky about nutrition are not bad things, even if they do come out of having had an ed!

  5. I think I missed this post initially! Just wanted to say that Tracey Gold (you might be too young to remember her!) She was on a sitcom called Growing Pains back in the 80’s & she developed an eating disorder but has since, in my opinion, recovered from it & is now helping other people with eating disorders on a TV show called “Starving Secrets” which airs on the Lifetime network in the USA. Hopefully a Canadian channel will pick it up & run it one day.

    She also wrote an autobiography called “Room to Grow: Appetite for Life” back in 2003 that might be worth checking out? I haven’t read it, so I can’t say for sure whether it is worth the read or not!

    But yeah, I totally believe YOU can recover from ED!

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