Being gentle with myself

All I can think of after I wrote that title was this song, obviously:

I love studying, I love studying, I love studying. Fake it til you make it or something like that!

For me chocolate and studying go hand in hand. So many times today I found myself eating little handfuls of chocolate chips or candy and so many times I reminded myself it’s not about the food.

I studied all afternoon with a break to go to Shoppers…I also ran into two friends so had a good chit chat with both of them (thanks for the sole social interaction of my day!). There was a snack in there, and tons of chocolate around it. But that’s where the title comes from, I am being gentle with myself about it! It could be so much worse…

Yes, I’m struggling. To study, to feel good, to realize that I can finish my Christmas shopping Thursday, to not binge and make myself focus on that instead, to not beat myself up for what I’ve eaten today, to not worry about when I’m going to run, spin, work out, etc. with my schedule come January. Petty, petty. My focus should be on this exam and on getting through it strong, and it is (but it’s taking a lot to get me there). But I am realizing that I can use this whole discomfort thing in a positive way (not to make myself feel bad, but to notice how I feel when I treat myself poorly (i.e. leave studying til the last minute, eat foods that don’t fuel me properly, fall back into old habits) to figure out the things that I DO want for myself.

Looking back at my eats today, no wonder I felt blah. So much processed and so much non hunger eating.

at least there's fruit with this chocolate...

at least I had a salad to pump up the veggies, and at least it's whole grain (the "healthy" version)

Not that exams are an excuse but I’m forcing myself to stress over studying and not over this because I know I can move towards healthier eating soon:

  • Whole foods with ingredient lists that make sense to me/less from a box and more from the ground/nature πŸ™‚ simple and nutritious
  • Batch cooking so I don’t rely on canned chili, frozen lasagna, etc (this should be the exception, not the norm)
  • Again, treats as treats
  • Majority of my beverages being water, not decaf coffee
  • Eating before I get starving
  • Eating more fruits and vegetables
  • Taking it easy with the salt shaker
  • Switching from Splenda to more natural forms of adding sweetness–honey, maple sugar, demera sugar, etc.
  • Slowing down and eating mindfully (sometimes I forget to chew, no lie)

Now, if you’ll excuse me it’s time for me to learn everything there is to know about complimentary and alternative medicine…18 hours til my exam!


7 responses to “Being gentle with myself

  1. Those are some great food goals you have there girl!!! I know what you mean – when it gets down to crunch time for some reason I turn to food a bit if I want a break from studying – NOT GOOD!!!
    Also, I have found that preparing my food in advance helps prevent me from not following my healthy food choices – whenever I don’t have a meal ready and I’m super hungry I reach for anything pretty much! And I agree about not letting yourself get too hungry because then you want to eat everything in sight hahah!
    Good luck on your exam…I have one more as well! We got this!!

  2. OH my goodness you still have an exam!! dude….may the force be with you. It sounds like you’re studying your butt of though, so I bet you’ll rock it!

    And I’m glad you’re being forgiving with yourself about the study-eats. I’ll be honest with you, when exam time came….I just didn’t care. I stress-ate hershey kisses like there was no tomorrow. And yes, it felt gross, and YES when I went home for break all I wanted to do was run and eat vegetables haha. But you’re so right, it really makes you think about what foods make you feel GOOD! Lately I’ve also been realizing that the less processed stuff I eat, the better I feel. Instead of eating snack bars from Clif or Luna, I make my own, I try to eat less bread slices and more grains like quinoa etc. But there will ALWAYS be a place for chocolate when I really want some πŸ™‚

    • Thanks — I just want it to be 4 o clock today!

      Funny how it takes time (and error) to figure things out with our bodies. I am leaving plenty of room and hoping for more high quality goodies (i.e. my mom’s recipe for chocolate chip cookies–get in my belly!). Quinoa, quinoa, quinoa — I’ve got to figure out how to cook it so I like it! It keeps coming up. πŸ™‚

  3. You have such an inspiring approach to things! I love how you don’t beat yourself up over it, but instead use it as a chance to learn from yourself and set new goals. Love it! πŸ˜€

    Good luck with your exam! Freedom is close! πŸ™‚

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