So, the golf game went unexpectedly better than I anticipated. I daresay I’d like to play on a regular basis!
We played a twilight round…made it to the eleventh hole. The sunset was beautiful over the mountains!
After the game was done, my dad, Sherry, and John had a couple beers while I had water, chicken fingers, and ceasar salad. I had a serious craving, so I went with it. Even though we got home only about an hour after I’d eaten, I felt really hungry and dug into a bag of pretzels. I was craving sweet next and I had a bag of mini eggs (my newfound love this year). I had a few and then sat around/read but I wanted more. I heard a voice telling me not to (go to bed, you don’t need them and you have done enough eating already) but also another voice (eat them otherwise you’ll feel deprived and end up back in a cycle) and yet another (it could still be your Ed tell g you to eat them to avoid deprivation….overeating is just another way Ed gets you). Considering innate them and reminded myself that the entire bag only is 160 calories, even if I ate the whole bag of pretzels I wouldn’t be fat, I’d just be off balance, and remembering where restricting and bingeing afterwards has gotten me in the past, I think I made the right choice.
The next step is trusting this process. Realizing that I should have gone ahead and had ice cream this afternoon when I was downtown or at least promising myself that I can have it tomorrow or Friday. Not feeling bad about what I’ve done.
Going to bed now and trusting that I will digest all the food and wake up okay to take on the day…night!