This post has two purposes:
2) prevent me from eating a second heaping bowl of ice cream (aka save some for tomorrow!)
This week flew by — I didn’t even find time to post! I was working, training, visiting friends, etc.
Yesterday was the holiday! I drove home late on Thursday night and while I got home to a rough start (it was an emotional day, to say the least — the new owners of our house got the keys, etc), we had awesome weather for a Canada Day bike ride. My only complaint was that I could have used so much more sleep! I had a moment of victory when I realized that the old Cheryl would have been angry about not being able to bike for x number of km at a certain (fast) speed but that I was perfectly content just riding along with the group and enjoying the company.
After the ride, I showered, snarfed a snack (an apple and peanut butter with trail mix on it — no pic, sorry!) and my mom and I headed down to meet up with my friends for the Canada Day parade!
- Momma Bons and me, en route to the Canada Day parade (Timmie’s drive though, naturally!)
The parade was pretty much the same as every year, but the sunshine and the quality time felt great. After, we walked around the park and then went to Coffee Lodge
for lunch (I had a Chicken al Greco pita with sundried tomatoes substituted for the regular tomatoes — it was very good!). If you’re in Sarnia, try Coffee Lodge if you like delicious, healthy, and quick food (no they didn’t pay me to say that).
The afternoon I spent catching up with Tanya. I saw her plot in the community garden at Germain. It’s awesome — I have always thought urban gardens were an awesome idea and to see the plots there was cool. Some were really impressive with flowers, etc. along with lots of vegetables (and weeds, of course).
I finished up the day with a visit to a high school friends’ for a party! It was fun to see everyone. We went out for dinner to Stokes. I was less than impressed (notice I didn’t link to the site), which has become more and more common for there. Frustrating! I had a beer with dinner (yum) that had a bigger effect than I thought it would. We hung out some more and then went down to the park for the fireworks (which were awesome, I thought!). Afterwards, we went to Two Amigos (a bar) for a little. I ran into my violin teacher from high school (she’s doing some cool things like going to China for two weeks in December to play–jealous!) and caught up with Julie from Sawmill. She drove me home and I was asleep by midnight after I pounded a Gatorade (just to be safe). I was drinking Smirnoff Light (100 calories each, sugar-free = hangover free, usually) after dinner so I wasn’t sure how I’d feel this morning if I wasn’t careful!
I woke up feeling good. I had breakfast in Sarnia and then hit the road for London. I stopped at the Athletic Club for a quick run on the treadmill (my training plan says 30 minutes for the day). I nearly skipped it, but I decided to do the exercise for 10 minutes and then make a decision thing and I decided to stay. I went on the elliptical for 20 minutes after — this should have seemed clearly not necessary. I should stick to my training plan, but Ed won out here. I also weighed myself, a stupid idea. I try to avoid the scale but for some reason today I wasn’t listening to the smart voice in my head. I think when I’ve drank or ‘indulged’ (I had some chips at the party, and we ate out, etc.) the night before, I am most vulnerable. Hmmph is all I can say.
After the gym I snarfed some amazing strawberries, rushed to get groceries (bought more than I needed), came to my apartment, hurried through lunch (a roast beef/provolone sandwich with carrots and dip when I should have had the potato chips I wanted — it’s a craving but there’s a reason and if I don’t get over it I’ll always let them have power over me), and then rushed to work! It was a busy day that went quickly! Afterwards I went to an engagement party for Kelly (a friend of a friend that I absolutely adore). I haven’t seen her in ages so it was ncie to see her. Short and sweet and to be honest I let Ed dictate things again. I had two snacks between lunch and the party, where there was enough (healthy, delicious looking) food to feed an army. I didn’t eat any of it and I stopped at the grocery store on my way home. I know being alone and eating a chicken ceasar salad (and garlic toast that I had to force myself to have and remind myself that even if I didn’t ‘need’ it, overeating is better than bingeing later) is Ed at work again. Anyways, dinner was good but not as good as eating what I wanted (the food at the party) in the company of friends (or potential friends) would have been.
good, but not what I wanted...
Tonight went quick. I just found myself picking at chocolate and candy and I was opening the freezer, starting to eat out of the ice cream tub, etc so I decided to have a bowl. I was goign to measure it but then I realized that this pseudo-intuitive eating (you can eat ice cream, but only a serving) is still not where I want to be. I decided to have the ice cream, sitting down and enjoying it. I’m ready for the day where I can eat ice cream at 2:00 in the afternoon and not just at night (one thing at a time) and where the whole time I’m having it I’m not hearing Ed telling me “no wonder you gained a pound today” or “no way are you taking a rest day tomorrow” or whatever he’s using against me.
Moving forward, I’m going to keep trying to get to the point where ice cream/potato chips/whatever is on the same level as carrots/yogurt/whatever. For some people, the idea of needing to eat more ice cream, potato chips, whatever seems crazy but for me, that’s where I need to be to find balance. I’m not sure what that means for the scale, but I have no intention of finding out. I also need to find a way to move on from the pants that I have been squeezing into that I’ve had since a time when I was far too unhealthy and preoccupied with my exercise/diet and just trust that going up one size won’t take me up ten sizes…I keep thinking back to all of the things I`ve read that say to get rid of those kinds of clothes and wondering why I`m stuck. This article about breaking the dieting mentality
is kind of an eye opener (I`m still doing some of these things on a fairly regular basis and I`m ready to move forward in my recovery more so I think it`s time to own up and start working on them) and also to an article I read on sparkpeople
that says keeping skinny jeans is stupid even if you’re trying to lose
weight! Along the same vein, it made me really sad today when I overheard a woman saying she didn`t want to buy herself an outfit because she hated her body so much (she looked good in what she was trying on, but she came back 3 times over the course of the afternoon before she finally bought herself something that was a “little“ small as an incentive). This week, I heard about a future mother in law who won’t buy herself a dress for a fast-approaching wedding until she loses 20 pounds. Another woman said she’s hoping to lose 50 by the time her daughter gets married in April 2012. Is it just me, or is it all too common for women (or men) to hold off on things until they feel like they’re at their ‘goal’ weight and deserve them? It’s to the point where so many don’t even realize that we’re doing it…
And once again blogging has become therapeutic…and a quote: “We must travel in the direction we fear.”
Does anyone have any advice for another ice cream? I’m a big peanut butter chocolate fan though, so beating the PC stuff will be next to impossible!
Do you eat dessert alone?
Have you ever felt like skipping your workout, given it ten minutes, and still skipped it or do you usually follow through?
What food is it for you that you think you’d never stop eating if you gave yourself permission?
Do you keep ‘skinny jeans’? How do they really make you feel — inspired? depressed? Why do you hold on to them?
What habit are you trying to break (i.e. obsessive weighing? overspending?) and how do you keep tabs on it?
Do you hold off on buying clothes because you’re not at your ‘goal weight’? What if you just learned to love your body as it is right now?
If you’ve lost weight or achieved some other goal, how do you shift your focus to something else?
Do you ‘watch’ what you eat? What would happen if you didn’t?